While domestic abuse can happen to all genders, females are the primary victims. Gendered violence stems back to a history of inequality between men and women, with men having control over women. This has leaked its way into modern relationships, with "Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%)... in the US" having experienced "rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime" ("Domestic Violence Statistics").

To put an end to these numbers, women must be educated on what healthy versus unhealthy relationships look like. Being aware and seeing the signs will be life-saving for many young women. If they see the signs of an abusive relationship early, they can leave before more violence and damage occur.

This is just dealing with those numbers. In order to actually stop domestic violence, it cannot be romanticized or normalized. Eight films are listed below that accurately portray different aspects of abusive relationships. The movies have varying intensities, so we recommend looking at the ratings as well as reading the synopses before diving right in.  

Lesson: Film Study

To start this activity, scroll down to the list of domestic violence signs and print out the list for the students. Then pick one of the movies below and watch it with the class in its entirety. Have the class take notes during the movie and record whenever they believe that they see a sign of domestic violence or just when they see a particularly disturbing scene. Additionally, it is also very impactful if the students record instances from the movie that are not listed but seem to fall under an unhealthy relationship.

After the movie, have a discussion about the contents of the movie and how they accurately portray different aspects of domestic violence, and what signs the students recognized from the list, as well as anything else they noticed or felt when watching.

These aspects could include the differences between physical and emotional abuse, what victims go through mentally post their escape, how difficult it is to get justice through the legal system, generational trauma/abuse, victim blaming, etc.

Recognize Signs

Emotional and Psychological Abuse

• Constant criticism, belittling, or humiliation

• Gaslighting – making you doubt your memory, perception, or sanity

• Controlling behavior – dictating what you wear, who you see, or where you go

• Isolation – cutting you off from friends, family, or support systems

• Jealousy and possessiveness presented as love or protection

• Blaming you for their problems or abusive behavior

• Silent treatment or withdrawal of affection as punishment

 Verbal Abuse

• Yelling, name-calling, mocking, or threatening

• Using sarcasm or "jokes" that hurt or demean you

• Repeatedly interrupting or talking over you to dominate

Control and Coercion

• Monitoring your phone, social media, or messages

• Making all decisions and refusing to let you have a say

• Financial control – withholding money, controlling your spending, or preventing you from working

• Threatening to harm themselves, you, or someone else if you don’t comply

Physical Abuse (even one instance is serious)

• Hitting, slapping, pushing, grabbing, or restraining

• Destroying property or throwing things in anger

• Intimidation through physical presence or gestures

Sexual Abuse

• Pressuring, guilt-tripping, or forcing sex or sexual acts

• Ignoring consent or boundaries

• Sabotaging birth control or refusing protection

How You Might Feel in an Abusive Relationship:

• You’re afraid to speak honestly or disagree

• You constantly feel like you’re “walking on eggshells”

• Your needs, opinions, or feelings are dismissed or mocked

• You feel anxious, depressed, or hopeless

• You are afraid of upsetting your partner

• You feel as if your self-esteem is slowly eroding

Remind your students that:

If you feel that any of these apply to you, or you feel that you relate to the characters in the movie above, it is important to get help. Getting out of abusive relationships is difficult enough on your own, and a support system can really help. 

Citations: 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline. "Domestic Violence Statistics." The Hotline, https://www.thehotline.org/stakeholders/domestic-violence- statistics/#:~:text=Over%201%20in%203%20women,intimate%20partner%20in%20their%20lifetime. Accessed 16 May 2025.

United Nations. “What Is Domestic Abuse?” United Nations, https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse. Accessed 22 May 2025

 © Margaret White 2025