Embedded Files
Overview
Overview
For this lesson, go through the definitions below of sexual assault with your class and discuss the true meaning of consent and what that looks like.
After the class has a true understanding of the severity of sexual assault and how it can be prevented, give your group the nuanced and challenging scenarios about consent provided at the bottom of the page. They will either be consensual or non-consensual scenarios; it is the job of the class to figure out which is which and why.
We suggest discussing after each one to dissect why or why not it is consent.
We have also included media that accurately represent the aftermath of sexual assault in different ways. We recommend watching/reading one of the media pieces as a class after the activity. This will allow for a deeper understanding of sexual assault and make it more personal to the students, as they will connect with the characters. The media listed has varying levels of intensity in terms of sexual assault and graphic visuals or depictions. It is recommended that, as a teacher, you watch or read before introducing the piece to the class.
At the end of the lesson, provide your group with helpful resources so that if they feel they need help, they have an outlet. These outlets are all listed at the bottom of the page.
What is Sexual Assault?
Sexual assault is an instance of someone sexually touching another person or making them touch them without consent.
The issue of sexual assault is very serious, and millions of people have been affected by it. Every single day, hundreds of Americans become victims of sexual assault; every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted ("Sexual Violence: Statistics"). Here are some statistics to showcase how large a problem sexual assault is and how many people it affects.
According to RAINN’s website (rainn.org):
1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime
1 in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime
9 out of every ten rape victims are female
Sexual assault can include unwanted kissing, touching/fondling of breasts, buttocks, and/or genitals. This could be on bare skin or through clothing.
It can also include:
Engaging in physical contact with another person's body in a sexual or pleasure-seeking manner, such as caressing their thigh or massaging their back.
Intentionally pressing against someone for sexual gratification.
Coercing or manipulating someone into making unwanted sexual contact.
Handling another person’s clothing in a way meant for sexual pleasure—for instance, lifting their skirt.
Please know that this is not a complete list. Just because something isn’t included here doesn’t mean it isn’t sexual assault. Your experiences are valid.
Different variations of sexual assault
Rape: Nonconsensual sexual penetration with penis of someone's mouth, vagina or anus through force, coercion, or when the victim is unable to consent.
Attempted Rape: An unsuccessful attempt to commit rape, where the perpetrator takes direct action but does not complete the act.
Fondling or Unwanted Sexual Touching: Nonconsensual physical contact with another person's body for sexual gratification.
Forcing a Victim to Perform Sexual Acts: Coercing or compelling someone to engage in sexual activities, such as oral sex or penetration by the perpetrator.
Penetration of the Victim’s Body: Any nonconsensual sexual penetration, including vaginal, anal, or oral, by any object or body part.
Consent
The legal definition of consent varies from state to state and country to country. Still, the general idea of consent is that both partners agree enthusiastically to a sexual act, without having impaired judgment. This consent does not need to be verbal, but it should be obvious and enthusiastic. This leads to an agreement to mutually participate in a sexual act.
Consent cannot be given by individuals who are underage, intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, or asleep or unconscious. Additionally, consent cannot be given when there is an unequal power dynamic, intimidation, threat tactics, or manipulation.
Consenting to one activity does not give consent for further activities. For example, consenting to kissing does not consent to sex. Additionally, giving consent in one instance does not imply consent for any future instances. Consent is also not implied when two people are in a romantic relationship, both partners still need to agree to any sexual acts.
The absence of a no is not a yes. If the person is visibly upset, distraught, or seems unsure and quiet, consent has not been given. You are never obligated to participate in sexual acts, and if you feel that you are being pressured, make sure that you trust your gut and know that it is not your fault, and you did not put yourself in this situation. Think of an escape route and make up a lie to leave the situation. It is also important that you text or call someone immediately to help you.
IMPORTANT: You are free to change your mind at any time. If at any point during a sexual act, you feel uncomfortable, you may withdraw consent.
Tips for ensuring consent during sexual acts:
Before making any changes in the type or intensity of sexual activity, ask for permission with questions like, “Is this alright?”
Ensure both parties are interested and willing before initiating any physical touch.
Reassure your partner that stopping at any time is always an option.
Check in regularly to confirm comfort, like asking, “Are you still okay with this?”
Express when you're comfortable with an activity by giving positive feedback.
Clearly agree to certain actions by saying "yes" or another affirmative phrase, such as “I’m open to this.”
Use non-verbal signals to show you're comfortable progressing further.
How To Protect Yourself From Sexual Assault
Note: Sexual Assault or rape is never the victims fault, regardless of situation or context.
Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, listen to that gut feeling and remove yourself from the situation.
Be Aware of Your Surroundings: Stay alert, especially in unfamiliar or isolated areas.
Set Boundaries and Be Assertive: If someone is making you uncomfortable, firmly say "no" or "back off."
Avoid Excessive Alcohol or Drugs: Impaired judgment can make it harder to recognize danger or react quickly. Make sure that if you are going to be under the influence, you are in a place that you know with people that you trust.
Stay in Well-Lit and Populated Areas: Avoid walking alone at night and stick to places with people around.
Have a Safety Plan: Let friends or family know where you are, and have an emergency contact ready.
Self-Defense Training: Learning basic self-defense techniques can help you feel more confident and prepared.
Use Safety Apps: Some apps allow you to share your location with trusted contacts or alert authorities in case of danger.
Cover Your Drink: Never have an open container when drinking in a public place. Always have your hand over the opening of your beverage or keep a lid on when not actively drinking, as many attackers will drug your drink.
Activity
Activity
Have your class figure out which scenarios are consensual and which are not. Then, discuss why or why not after each decision. This activity deepens understanding of consent as it puts the question of consent into real-life and possibly relatable scenarios.
Scenarios:
**Silent Agreement?**
During an intimate moment, Person A starts initiating a new type of sexual activity. Person B doesn’t say anything—neither objecting nor enthusiastically agreeing. They appear uneasy but don’t pull away. Is this consent?
This is not consent because Person B is not enthusiastically consenting and has not said yes. This is a reminder that the absence of a no is not a yes.
**Nonverbal and Verbal Affirmation**
While kissing, Person A asks, “Would you like to keep going?” Person B smiles, nods, and says, “Yes, I want this.” Their body language shows they are engaged and comfortable.
This is consent because Person B is giving verbal consent, and their body language is comfortable and not pulling away.
**Past Consent vs. Present Choice**
Person A and Person B have engaged in a particular sexual activity many times before. Tonight, Person A assumes Person B is fine with it and proceeds without asking. Person B hesitates but eventually goes along with it. Does their prior history count as consent?
This is not consent, as consent cannot be preemptive, and just because consent was given before, that does not make it okay to continue without it at a later time.
**Mutual Agreement Before Intimacy**
Person A and Person B are about to engage in sexual activity. Person A asks, “Are you comfortable with this?” Person B responds enthusiastically, “Yes, I want to.” They proceed, checking in with each other throughout.
This is consent because person B is enthusiastic, and both people consistently check in with each other.
**Coercion in Relationships**
Person A tells their partner, Person B, that if they truly love them, they should engage in sexual activity even though Person B has previously expressed hesitation. Person B eventually gives in to avoid hurting the relationship. Is this consent?
No, this is not consent. Pressuring someone emotionally or tying sex to love creates coercion, which invalidates genuine, voluntary agreement.
**Changing Boundaries During Activity**
Person A and Person B start engaging in sexual activity. Halfway through, Person A asks, “Do you want to keep going?” Person B responds, “Actually, I’d prefer to stop.” Person A immediately stops and respects the boundary without hesitation.
This is consent. Person A checks in and immediately respects Person B’s choice to stop, which demonstrates clear, ongoing, and affirmative consent.
**Checking In After Alcohol Consumption**
Person A and Person B have been drinking but are still able to hold a coherent conversation and make decisions. Person A asks, “Do you feel in control enough to make this decision?” Person B replies, “Yes, I do, and I’d like to continue.” The interaction remains respectful and consensual.
Yes, this is consent. Both individuals are coherent, communication is clear, and mutual agreement is present without pressure.
**Impaired Judgment**
Person A and Person B are both heavily intoxicated. Person A initiates sexual activity, and Person B verbally agrees but is clearly struggling to stand and speak. Person A assumes it's fine since Person B said "yes." Is this valid consent?
No, this is not valid consent. A verbal "yes" from someone too intoxicated to stand or speak clearly does not meet the standard for informed, voluntary consent.
**Consent in Long-Term Relationships**
Even though Person A and Person B have been together for years, Person A asks, “Would you like to do this tonight?” Person B responds positively, “Yes, I’m in the mood.” They continue to engage enthusiastically, ensuring consent remains present throughout.
Yes, this is consent. Being in a long-term relationship doesn’t imply automatic consent; asking and receiving a clear, enthusiastic "yes" confirms it.
**Nonverbal Signals vs. Verbal Denial**
Person A and Person B are engaging in foreplay. Person B laughingly says "No, stop," but continues to kiss and touch Person A playfully. Person A assumes that Person B doesn’t actually mean "no." Is consent present in this situation?
No, this is not consent. A verbal "no," even if playful, must be taken seriously unless clarified; assuming otherwise risks violating boundaries.
**Authority and Pressure**
Person A is Person B’s boss or mentor. They invite Person B over and start subtly pressuring them into sexual activity, suggesting their career could benefit from “going along with it.” Even though Person B doesn’t explicitly refuse, is consent valid?
No, this is not valid consent. Power dynamics (like a boss-employee relationship) and subtle pressure compromise the ability to give free, uncoerced consent.
**Revoking Consent Midway**
Person A and Person B have mutually agreed to engage in sex. Halfway through, Person B becomes uncomfortable and says, “I don’t want to continue.” Person A insists they finish because they’ve already started. Is consent still present?
No, consent is no longer present. Consent can be revoked at any time, and insisting on continuing after someone says "stop" is a violation.
**Social Expectation Guilt**
Person A has spent money on an expensive date and expresses frustration when Person B declines their advances later that night. Person B feels obligated and agrees just to avoid conflict. Does this count as genuine consent?
No, this is not genuine consent. Feeling pressured due to social expectations or guilt negates free and enthusiastic agreement.
Media Representation
Movie/Book: Perks of Being a Wallflower
Rating: PG-13
A coming-of-age movie that was adapted from a novel that showcases the aftermath of a teenage boy who suffered from sexual abuse by a family member as a young boy. Both the book and media are accurate potrayals and reccomended.
Series: Unbelievable
Rating: TV-MA
A miniseries based on true events, following the story of a young woman who reports being raped but is pressured into recounting her statement after the majority doubt her story. It showcases the unfairness justice system, the trauma of sexual assault, and victim blaming.
Movie: Audrie and Daisy
Rating: Not Rated (USA)
This is a documentary that explores the way social media and the justice system fails teenage girls in the aftermath of sexual assault. It also highlights the serious mental health repercussions of being an SA victim.
Novel: Speak
by Laurie Halse Anderson
A novel that follows the story of a high school freshaman who struggles with rape and sexual assault, all while trying to form her own indentity.
If you relate to any of these instances, please look to these resources for help and guidance.
You are not alone.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: a service of RAINN
Telephone hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673)
National Helpline for Male Survivors: a service of 1in6
National Street Harassment Hotline: a service of Stop Street Harassment
Telephone hotline: 855.897.5910
DoD Safe Helpline: a service for members of the U.S. military and their families, operated by RAINN for the Department of Defense
Telephone hotline: 877.995.5247
Citations
RAINN. Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. www.rainn.org, Accessed 10 May 2025.
© Margaret White 2025
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse